LET IT GO

by Monica Fernandi | August 2018

What if I told you there that you have everything you need right now, how would that make you feel? Doubtful? Anxious? At ease?  The constant chase we all get involved in daily has us feeling like a hamster spinning a wheel, right? What if you found out your life is coming to an end within 6 months to a year? Feeling scared, anxious, not at ease? What is on your “bucket list” that needs a jolt to complete? What are you waiting for to make it happen?

Words can’t express the feeling I had when I jumped from a plane at 10,000 feet above Mother Earth! It was exhilarating to say the least, especially going through a magnificent fluffy white cloud. Truth be told, when I landed (on both feet ,straight up like a road-runner) I was not only grateful to the experienced jumper on my back for his timely act of pulling the cord, but grateful to God for this amazing life I am blessed with; that WE are all blessed with! The day was gorgeous, the view of the NJ shoreline was awesome, and the celebrations as well. It was additionally my parents 50th wedding anniversary and they awaited my safe landing, ready to pop the cork for champagne.

Back then I was a member of the “Sandwich Generation,” as my 3 children were under the age of 13 needing their parents to guide them safely through those vulnerable years. The other “slice of bread” was my mother whom was on oxygen that day I jumped , coping with congestive heart failure for about 4 months, then just a month later she was diagnosed with a tumor in her lung that ultimately took her above the clouds herself not long after that. I admired her courage to decline medication or radiation and simply die at home when her time came. Some admired MY courage for jumping out of a “perfectly good plane.”  As I was in the middle of this emotional sandwich, I can tell you now both ends were crusty with tears at times, and even some tender bites.

As life would have it, I had been changed again. Now with no parents here to cheer my safe landing and an empty nest of young adults out in the world, I simply trusted God’s path for me and learned how to let go of my plan and also my ex-husbands plan. You see, the purpose of your life is a life full of purpose! We are WHERE we are supposed to be, and meet WHOM we are supposed to meet, WHEN we are supposed to meet them!! Mom’s wise words said, “Monica, God has a plan for us all” and it seemed really hard to accept then. It is wisdom that drives this truth home together with loss, courage and acceptance.

We come into this world with nothing; naked, sometimes screaming, and we leave with nothing. We touch others lives for the short time we are here, then we let go or let them go and move to the next level of being strengthened or even enlightened. We may be sandwiched between a sticky mess, or wanting to get what we think is the right amount of  money before we complete a certain goal. If the wind blows you off course, trust that God knows when to pull the cord and guide you back safely. Once we learn to fly like that, the journey is much calmer!!!

xo

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