Pandemic Break-Ups on the Rise: Here’s a Tool to Get Through it
by Monica Fernandi | January 2021
Covid-19 has been an emotional rollercoaster for us all. Learn one basic tool you can begin using right now to help the days ahead.
According to a Dating.com survey of 2,000 users, 67% of people said they had gone through a break up in 2020 — up from 35% the previous year — and 25% said they were still living with an ex. These are hard times no doubt; for relationships, for finances, for overall well being. It is safe to say we all hope for a brighter new year. But what you do right now, today, can make 2021 a year that provides you with opportunities that will strengthen your spirit, your health, and even your relationships.
Let’s begin by looking into your current thoughts; are they fear based as in the concern for our well-being due to Covid-19? Or is your faith strong enough to ease your mind knowing that this too shall truly pass and we shall persevere?
Our thoughts drive our emotions and ultimately our actions. The mind is a powerful tool that can make or break your day, your relationship, your life. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor of medicine emeritus at the University of Massachusetts and founder of the world-renowned Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Clinic, mindfulness is a non-secular practice with its roots in Buddhism, dating back 2,500 years. He says in his book Full Catastrophe Living: “The stress on a marriage is compounded if the couple is unable to adjust to the enormous demands of parenthood, or unable to adjust to one another’s growth and change.” Add quarantine, social-distancing and adapting to staying home together much more than ever and it’s no wonder there is an even higher divorce rate this year.
We are all grieving what our former lives were like. Now, more than ever, the ancient art of mindfulness can help alleviate some of the uncertainty in our monkey-chatter brain. As a yoga teacher for the last 15 years, I have guided thousands of clients toward the use of their breath as a powerful tool that can calm the mind as well as rejuvenate the body. The testimonials alone have reinforced this with profound examples of those that now have courage to speak up in toxic relationships when they used to live in fear. How about the simple act of taking a deep breath before saying something in a reactive and perhaps hurtful way? Another great share by a client. Then there are those that have said they now live a life full of love and positivity simply by practicing mindfulness.
The bottom line is that life is in a constant flux of ups and downs, crises and disasters both small and large. There is not one person on this planet who does not have his or her own version of a full catastrophe, as Kabat-Zinn’s book’s title implies. Even before a global pandemic, we have all encountered the inescapable relationship conflicts, financial concerns, and challenges in life and death that are woven into our human experience. With this pandemic, we have been forced to be inside in more ways than one. Self-discovery, relationship discovery, and overall awakening has occurred in many people across the globe. The time to face our fears, take action toward bettering our lifestyle, or finally become who we came here to become seems to have presented itself in 2020. Whether this means a move, a break-up, or learning how to accept this new, yet temporary lifestyle, practicing mindfulness can provide a framework to help manage the stress of relationship breakdown or any major life change for that matter. You can start now simply by taking some deep breaths!
If you need assistance in learning how to be more calm in the unknowns of unravelling relationships during the pandemic, please reach out to me via my website; awakenedsoulmate.com. I help women re-build confidence after divorce, in a mindful and gentle way so that they may feel joy again and be free of stress.
Monica Fernandi, Soulmate Confidence Coach.